The Surprising Truth About Perfection: From Flawless to Whole

In a world obsessed with flawless Instagram feeds and picture-perfect lives, it’s time we took a closer look at what “perfect” really means. Spoiler alert: it might not be what you think.

The Etymology Surprise

Here’s a mind-bender for you: the word “perfect” doesn’t originally mean “flawless.” It comes from the Latin “perfectus,” which means “completed” or “finished.” Break it down further, and you get “per-” (thoroughly) and “facere” (to make or do).

So, originally, being perfect meant being whole or complete – not without flaws.

From Whole to Flawless: A Linguistic Journey

Somewhere along the way, our understanding of “perfect” took a sharp turn. By the 14th century, it started to mean “impeccable” or “without defect.” This shift mirrors how our culture has evolved, pushing us towards unrealistic standards of perfection.

The Perfectionism Trap

Today, many of us are caught in the perfectionism trap. We believe anything less than flawless is unacceptable. But this modern definition of “perfect” is problematic because:

  1. It sets an impossible standard
  2. It robs us of the joy of growth and learning
  3. It often leads to self-criticism and burnout

Reclaiming Wholeness: A New (Old) Perspective

What if we went back to the original meaning of “perfect”? Instead of striving for flawlessness, we could aim for completeness or wholeness. This shift in perspective can be incredibly freeing:

  • It allows us to embrace our imperfections
  • It acknowledges that growth involves making mistakes
  • It reminds us that our worth isn’t defined by external achievements

The Power of Being “Perfectly Imperfect”

Psychologist Brené Brown has talked extensively about the dangers of perfectionism. She describes it as a shield we use to avoid vulnerability. But true worthiness comes from embracing who we are – imperfections and all.

Practical Steps Towards Wholeness

  1. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
  2. Celebrate progress, not perfection: Focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go.
  3. Embrace vulnerability: Allow yourself to be seen, flaws and all.
  4. Redefine success: What does “success” mean if it’s about wholeness rather than flawlessness?

The Perfect Conclusion (See What We Did There?)

Remember, being “perfect” doesn’t mean being without flaws. It means being whole, as you are. You’re not a project to be completed or a problem to be fixed. You’re a human being, perfectly imperfect, and worthy of love and belonging.

So the next time you catch yourself striving for perfection, ask yourself: Am I aiming for flawlessness, or wholeness? The answer might just change your life.


Want to dive deeper? Check out Brené Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” or Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion.

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